But it's the sweet moments when I really want Bella to stop wiggling and kicking my belly that she will stop to snuggle near me really tight (before she roundhouses my stomach) or when she'll chit chat on and on (like she's on crack) and then she'll stop and say "Mommy, whatyadoin?" and then hug me real tight and kiss me before plopping down In Awkward positions! And as much as I want to be firm or I think my patience is gone, my heart melts and I'm glad I'm her Mommy. She really is the most precious angel and I love that I get to spend all day with her. We have our moments and I know there are times I can improve in my reactions but she loves me just the same. In her eyes, I'm still a super hero. And it's great to have that room for error, but I want to be the mom that truly upholds that honor. To really be a woman that qualifies as a super hero and that gives me the inspiration I need to improve myself.
Not to worry little nugget in my tummy! Mommy hasn't forgotten about you! I've just had time to get to know your sister better and I cannot wait to get to know you as well! I know I already love you. I enjoy feeling your kicks! You're like your sister, to the effect, she didn't like technology on my tummy either! If I put Daddy's laptop on my tummy, you immediately start kicking until I move it, just like she did!
We went to the MD today to hear your heartbeat. You're pumping strong at 160 bpm! Bella sat by me on the table and was tickled to hear your heartbeat, she was also ready to go. She's still not a huge fan of the doctors. She had her adoring fans though, everyone loved Bella and I know they're going to love you too! I know this because you are part of your Daddy, and that man is hard not to love. He is special and people are drawn to him, just like they are with Bella and just like they will be with you! You are special little one! You are more real to me now, since I've felt you kick. This is an improvement from Bella, because I didn't really believe she was in my tummy until the doctor pulled in the tray of tools to deliver your sister and I had a whole 10 months to prepare, and still it wasn't real to me until that point! I guess now that I'm pretty much over the morning sickness and I can feel you move, I remember that I actually have a living being that will be mine for eternity, in my tummy! Whether you like me or not, you're stuck with me for eternity :) But I really do hope you'll like me because i love you! I can't wait to hold you in my arms. Sometimes you'll kick my hand when I try to "hold" you and it makes me smile :) In three weeks, we find out if you're a boy or girl :). I'm kind of leaning to girl but your daddy swears you're a boy. Obviously you know who you are but we are so excited to find out. We will love you no matter what you are because you are our child. That will never change. No matter what you do or what you become, we will always love you. I know you'll do wonderful and great things.
I love you both, my little ones. I am so looking forward to our adventures together :)
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