Ronan's Birth Story, Part 2

Around 6, I decided to get out of bed since I wasn't sleeping anyway.  I felt some contractions and decided to rock in the glider and read some church talks.  Mitch's mom was on her way to work and we took the time to joke about how it was in God's timing and Ronan would come when he was ready and how she thought it was so funny it was October and he'd stayed in there the whole time!  I was definitely in a better mood.  I joked with her in all my swollen glory that I didn't hate her but I strongly disliked her in the moment because she did this to me!  We continued chit chatting back and forth as I rocked and then she left for work.  The contractions were pretty consistent but not consistently painful.

I decided to crawl back into bed and snuggle with my husband and Bella. I had Bella wrapped in one arm, my other arm cradling my tummy, aka Ronan, and my leg outstretched over the bed so that my foot was touching Mitch. Now I know this sounds crazy but I am most peaceful when my family is in bed together and I can physically touch them, so I know they are safe. I still check Bella to make sure she breathes when she sleeps... I know I sound crazy but my family is the most important thing to me. I had showered the night before so while I had all intentions of getting up early to straighten my hair and do my make up, I did not. Instead I drifted off to sleep saying a prayer of gratitude and, cuddling my family. It didn't last very long as Bella woke up not too much later and I wanted to grab breakfast as a family before my appointment.

I felt like poo and the contractions kept coming on so I wasn't really motivated to get ready "get ready".  I did shower the night before so I let my hair naturally dry to cut down on heat damage, but like I said, I didn't feel like straightening my hair so I just put it up in the ever reliable ponytail and slipped on something comfortable yet not too frumpy.  And I learned from Bella, even if you straighten your hair, when your in labor, it's going back in a ponytail anyway!  We got Bella ready and since it was raining (can't do landscaping in the rain), I went into the kitchen to talk to Mitch's dad about our plans for the day.   As we were all talking and decided what to do for breakfast, I noticed the contractions were getting stronger and more consistent like I had a hard rock under my tummy.  Mitch's dad would be home because of the rain and I told him we would meet him for lunch, if they didn't keep me in the hospital.  Now I've never gone into labor before by myself so I didn't know if this was really it or not.  I had all plans to come home but we were prepared if I didn't.  Something inside me knew I wasn't coming back, but just in case, I didn't make our bed... because I thought if our bed wasn't made, then surely I couldn't go into labor.  NOTE TO SELF: Babies don't care if you're beds are made, so don't count on that as an insurance policy.  I secretly wanted a big breakfast at Cracker Barrel as our last hoorah but for some reason, Tropical Smoothie sounded heavenly.  So with the bare essentials we left for our smoothies and headed to the doctors.

About this time, I started timing my contractions.  EVERY. THREE. MINUTES. to the second... so I thought I'd give it some time.  When we got there, I was so miserable, I asked Mitch to go inside and get them to go.  I know I sound lazy, but I'd been through a lot in the pregnancy.  During that time, I continued to time the contractions.  I also called my mom to let her know what was going on since she was meeting us there to help with Bella. I then called my Sis-in-Law, to let her know we might need her to meet us sooner than later because my contractions were strong and at every three minutes. I then called the OB to see if I could come in early because I had a pretty good feeling (or prayer) that I was in labor.  As I mentioned earlier, I'd been through a lot this pregnancy and so my pain thresh hold was unreliable and it was hard to gauge what painful should be...  My OB told me  to come in and let them know when I got there.  I didn't want to miss the chance to schedule my induction if this wasn't the real deal and didn't want to go to the hospital and be sent home.  I no longer trusted my womanly instincts... even though deep down inside something told me today was the day.  We didn't take any "before" pictures of what I looked like the day I was pregnant and going to give birth, because we A) We didn't know it was happening and B) I felt like Honey Boo Boo Child, and didn't want to take any pictures... so not the way I had planned, but cest la vie.

With my mom on the way to meet us, a straw supplying me with the most amazing smoothie in my mouth, and my family riding in our nice little Honda... we headed to Lexington Medical Center.  On the way to the OB, we talked with Bella about going to see the doctor to check on Ronan and how Mommy might stay and have Ronan.  How she would have lots of fun playing with Devan and Riley (her cousins) and tried to play it up.  We had her at Riley and Devan... she loves them!  The car ride went by pretty fast and I just prayed the contractions kept coming because I don't think I could have handled another let down.

When we got to the OB, I explained the situation and they handed me my chart.  My mom was in the lobby and when I looked down at my chart, I saw they had me with a different OB and for 1:30pm... it was only 10am.  So I went back up front and explained the situation.  During a brief talk with the nursing staff,  a nurse came out and decided to take me to the MAC unit... I asked if I wasn't in labor if I could keep my appointment and be scheduled for tomorrow because I really didn't want to miss my chance!  I was THREE days over due, which might not seem like a long time, but when you've been carrying the baby for over 40 weeks with a pregnancy from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks... yea, that 72 hours, goes a loooong way.

So I walk to the MAC unit with my posse and go through the usual drill.  I get to don my nifty hospital gown, and pee in the cup. The funny part was, prior to this Mitch had to use the bathroom first.... I use the term lightly, so about 10-15 minutes later I get my chance to strip down and get my Maternity on.  This is a very similar scene since I was just there on Saturday.  I was too nervous to finish my smoothie because I was just praying this was the real thing because I didn't want to be sent home again... in hindsight, I wish I would have finished the smoothie and ordered a bagel... or a lb. of bacon, but all in all, I guess it was good I ate light.  Once I got into the MAC unit, I was only allowed ice chips.  It wasn't so bad since I craved ice, and they had pretty good ice.  Looking back, I'm really surprised how calm I was.  I had Bella and Mitch there and my Mom was there to help with Bella.  When the MAC nurse came in, she hooked me up to the machines and started to monitor my contractions.  I was sure when she checked me, I would have progressed over the weekend, but all that walking did jack doodle!  I was still only 3 cm & 80% effaced :(  For the record, my mom was there so she was able to take Bella for a walk while I was being checked.  I didn't want to explain that to her.  After about 20 minutes, the nurse came back in and informed me that my contractions were only 3-5 minutes apart but she would give me an hour and let me walk to see if I progressed.

I kissed my little Bella Boo goodbye and left to her play with Mema while Mitch and I started to walk the floor. I was really grateful my mom was there because I could have Bella with me but also focus on the task at hand.  I was also grateful Bella could be there because I could explain to her what was happening and she could see what was going on instead of me randomly going into labor at night while she is asleep and then she would wake up needing me and "Mommy would have just disappeared."  If you know anything about my abandonment issues, you know what a big deal this is to me! I can't stand the thought of my children thinking that I would ever leave them, so this was a source of major anxiety throughout my pregnancy. So this was a HUGE blessing, to have her with me and she see the whole process!

Since I could possibly be in labor, they only let you walk around the second floor (which is the Maternity ward)  So even though I was now rocking two night gowns (the original and the second as a "robe") and the nurses knew what I was doing...  I still felt a little silly.  I really didn't want to get sent home again. So I made up my mind to walk this baby out.   I'll be honest, I felt quite weird walking around, passing people, knowing I wasn't wearing any underwear... it can get pretty breezy and what if my water broke right in the middle of the hallway?  That would be super embarrassing!  Or what if I sneezed or coughed.. that was a garunteed "pee myself moment" and since I was still suffering from a cough, that risk was VERY real!  I made sure to have my cough drops with me at all time, just in case!  (SPOILER ALERT:  I didn't pee myself!)  But seriously, do you know how awkward it is, to be chatting with a total stranger commando?  It's not really my cup of tea so I would make a terrible exhibitionist.

After walking by the nursery and circling between two hallways for the umpteenth time, I decided to just make laps around the nurses station.  I power walked! AND WALKED AND WALKED. And did a few squats.  And walked some more, like the elderly people speed walk in the mall before all the stores open.  Oh yeah!  All I needed was a sweatband on my forehead and a side ponytail... memo to me for the next baby. I was determined and had my eye on the prize.  Mitch got hungry so I sent him away to get himself some food and a drink and to check on Bella.  I was working on getting one baby here, but wanted to make sure my other baby was being taken care of!  It started to become a running joke with the nurses station... I mean you can only pass by them 15 times or so before you have to talk.  They saw my determination and offered words of encouragement and cheers with each lap.  I knew I had to be getting somewhere when I tried to do squats and couldn't make myself do them anymore because of the pain and pressure.  In the meantime, while Mitch was on errands, I called family members to let them know what was going on, and to take my mind off of walking monotonously around in a circles.  I didn't want to call too many people unless it was a false alarm, but tried to keep people posted on FB too since so many friends have been supportive during my pregnancy.  Towards the end I was walking and holding my belly and pushing through the contractions... praying I could keep them up! Sometimes even having to stop and grab the railing, but determined to push through and have this baby.  I didn't want to lose any momentum!  Everyone was very encouraging and Mitch was there to support me and keep my mind off the pain.  He even got me a nice big cup of ice chips which was heaven since my iron was so low.  I kept chugging along and I'd send Mitch away to check on Bella, who was surprisingly doing well.  I was one determined Momma!  He would come back and give me the report on how she was and what was going on with all of our family members.  I also got the chance to talk to my Daddy.  Even though he couldn't be here for Ronan's birth, it was such a comfort to talk to him and it made my day complete.  My Daddy will always have a special place in my heart and I know that even when he can't physically be there, he is there in spirit.

So with five minutes before I needed to be back in my room, I decided to chug out two more laps.  With the contractions coming on stronger and a tummy full of ice chips, I was just praying I didn't sneeze.  I was feeling so much pressure I could have sworn, had I looked down, his hand would be hanging out.  It was like playing a game of roulette but I was so ready for Ronan to get here, I didn't want to waste one ounce of time.  If they were going to send me home, it wasn't going to be because I didn't give it all of my very best effort.  At least I could say I tried my best.  Mitchell and I walked back to my room, hand in hand, where my precious Bella waited with her Mema.  I want to face all difficult tasks like that... hand in hand with my husband.  Looking back, I still can't believe how calm I was about the whole thing.  I freak out fairly easily when under stress or new situations, but I guess my desire to keep other around me comfortable, prevented me from processing it all OR it could be I had prepared as much as I could and just given up and put my faith in God.  I was at peace.  So we walk back in the room and Bella runs right up to me and gives me the biggest hug and shows me the picture she drew me while she was gone.  Best feeling ever, even with some pretty kicking contractions.  I didn't waste anytime, I kept walking around in the room, I didn't want to risk my contractions slowing down!  Bella took a couple laps with me  but she got bored after a little while and decided to watch Doc McStuffins on Mitch's phone,  I walked another 15-20 minutes until my nurse came back in and strapped me to the monitors.  During that time, Bella made sure to play check up on me and make sure I was okay.  At the point, they got pretty intense, but I  could still talk and breathe through them.  Mitch would watch them and told me they would go off the charts and were lasting about a 1 1/2 minute and coming every 3 minutes... I was just praying I kept up the momentum and had progressed.  It helped me to have Mitch tell me about or moreso, confirm what I was feeling.  I was so scared it was another false alarm, each strong contraction, gave me validation and made me feel like this was it.  I knew they would admit me at a four so I was praying I'd made it that far.  The doctor on call came in to check me and I sent Bella out.  Moment of truth.....

FOUR CENTIMETERS and 90% EFFACED!  

And I earned every bit of it!  Ladies and Gentleman we are in active labor.  The OB , whom I'd actually never met before, but I knew he had seen /delivered two of my friend's babies, said the most amazing words, after the best news that I had progressed... "Let's get you admitted and started on an IV and have a baby today!" My friends sang this man's praises so I felt really good about him, and the fact, that he was so laid back and was like, let's do this!   Oh my gracious, I loved that man so much in that moment!  We called Jessica with the good news and she sent Josh to come pick up our angel!  I was able to explain to Bella that I was going to have her little brother and when Ronan was here, she could come back to the hospital to meet us.  In the meantime she was going to play with her cousins.. I don't know what was more exciting for her, the thought of Ronan finally coming or the thought of a whole afternoon with her cousins!  Words cannot express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for this moment.  I was able to explain to my daughter and tell her goodbye and have the peace that she was in good hands and would be taken care of and distracted during this huge life change.  It was so important to me and I think that was my biggest beef with going into labor on my own, was that I wouldn't get that chance, and she would be scared or upset and I couldn't be there.  I could not have planned a better transition for her.  I was also grateful I went into labor when I did because the OB WAS AWESOME.  THE Nurses were super nice and I knew that there was a reason Ronan was coming this day.  So we packed up all of my things and I walked to the Delivery Room.

I felt pretty much like a champ, being in labor and walking over all by myself.  I was able to push through the pain and contractions and sign the paperwork.  I was calm and had a clear head.  I was able to ask questions that I had and express my wishes for the birth.  Because I had been so sick, I never got a chance to discuss a birth plan or my wishes in case of complications.  I was so nervous when I signed the consent form for the C-Section... I was three days over due, and Bella was 3 days early and weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz... which literally almost tore me a "new one"  so how in the world would I get this baby out?  It was all in Heavenly Father's plan... no matter what, Ronan Asher was coming into this world that day!

...to be continued...

(As a consolation for your diligence, the next post will have LOTS of pictures)