The suspense is killing me!

I'm a planner.  It's what I do.  Although I might not be the best follow througher, I'm the world's best planner or worrier... I think you can kind of use the two words simultaneously, because in the end, what's meant to be, will be.  I spend a good bit of my time planning the things of our future or daily activities or blog posts that I never write, but main focus lately?  Our new baby!  I'm thinking strollers, bigger cars, where are we going to put the new baby?  How are we going to pay for the new baby?  When can I tell everyone? Is the baby healthy?  How will Bella adjust? Am I ready?  Should I switch to cloth diapers?  What am I doing?  Of course, this is just my inner monologue, if you're reading this now, it's because you already know I'm pregnant and are going back to read all my posts during the time I was pregnant but couldn't post them because we wanted to keep it a secret until we were more sure.

I was definitely more in tune with my body this pregnancy and maybe that's why I feel so weird now. Because I don't feel as pregnant.  Maybe that's because I was super duper in tune with my body while anticipating the BFP and it's tired so it can chill now?  Or maybe because I have a very active toddler who keeps me on my toes so I don't think about being pregnant?  Or maybe because every pregnancy is different.

I've litterally told a hand full of people (more so just confirmed my earlier anticiaptions that I was pregnant so I don't think that counts.)  We live with Mitch's parents so it's even harder to keep the secret but so far I've been able to keep it under wraps.  I've been sick so any weird behavior I can blame on that.

So my pre-pregnancy weight was 97lbs, which was a pound lighter than when I was pregnant with Bella.  I contribute this low weight to active toddler and weekly classes of power yoga.  I've really been trying to be diligent with my vitamins and making sure I'm eating all my meals and making them count.  I'm embracing that I'm going to get larger, but want to try to be as healthy as I can be about it.  Since then, I've gained a whole pound .  I contribute this to decrease in gym time, actually taking the time to eat at least three full meals and taking vitamins, and last but not least, the boob job courtesy of pregnancy.  I'm not opposed to gaining weight, I want to!  But just in a healthy way and not all at once.  That was the big mistake with Bella.  Yes, I'm eating for two, but the second person I'm eating for is the size of a poppy seed.  They don't need that much extra right now.

This is best picture I could find to show the size of a poppy seed... thankfully there is just one inside me and not all of these!

I've been taking naps with Bella as a precaution up until two days ago when they became a necessity.  It's like a fall into a drug like state where I can hardly move my body and I know, it's the pregnancy fatigue.  I was doing it as a precaution before because I know I would get tired and if I didn't nap with Bella I wouldn't get it ... I stay tired, but this time around, Heavenly Father has juiced this pregnancy with a little extra energy because when I would nap with her (and it would be amazing)  I could not for the life of me sleep at night!  I'm also getting up at least twice in the middle of the night to pee and can I just add, this is the time when most women are suspecting or they're finding out they're pregnant!  I guess it's because it's my second time around and my bladder has absolutely no holding capacity!  Or maybe Heavenly Father is just getting my body prepared for the no sleep thing again since i love it so much.  Either way, I will go forward.

I've kind of been introducing Bella to the idea of there is a baby in Mommy's belly.  I say "There's a baby in Mommy's tummy" and point to my tummy.  I then ask, "Where's Mommy's baby?"  She then grabs my boob, and says "Baby"  It's a work in progress.... I keep correcting her and I think she's finally getting the idea now.  I know she knows, or maybe she's just got a feeling that things are changing.  BUt she has been so interested in holding her babies and taking care of them.  With the exception of two of them that have been in time out for the past three days... But I really feel good about this.  I think she will be a great help when the baby comes.  I'm not ready to let her babysit yet because the babies still get dropped on their heads or if they're bad she covers their face with a blanket and says "TIME OUT".  We don't participate in any of these activities so I'm not sure where she is coming from with this?

THankfully, I havent been nauseous...yet.  I get little waves of food aversions but nothing like I was with Bella... yet.  This pregnancy just feels all together different.  I haven't had any cravings per se, but when I want something to eat, it's pretty much a one train thought that I have to have.  The most recent demand,  Sweet Sixteen doughnuts, that my husband so kindly ran to Kroger last night at 11:30 so I could have them for Sunday.  I've since eaten half the bag and it was delicious.

I have also had this underlying fear of miscarriage just because this pregnancy feels so different. I've gotten two blessings since we found I'm pregnant and have learned a lot from them.  We're pretty sure we are having a boy.  Which could explain a lot.  I'm at peace with the situation.  And I'm sure everything is fine, but I think this is more of a pull to document this pregnancy, to make it more real and give it validation.

I've also got the mandatory cold/laryngitis thing I get when I first find out I'm pregnant because it shoots my immune system down.  AND I even supplemented with a Vitamin C Boost smoothie!  Hormones, you win... again.

I'm surprised how new this feels to me since I've been through this before and also how uneventful it feels at the same time.  I feel like hormones have mellowed out and I'm not crying like I was before, well not at all actually.  I just want to document and take as much time as I can with this pregnancy to make it special for our next little one, because I know there won't be as many pictures and I want this kid to feel special too!  At least I can say, I did a really good job for the first nine months of your life :)

It's only been five days since I found out I was pregnant and I'm dying to tell someone. It feels like this is the slowest pregnancy ever! I'm sure things will speed up soon :)