I'm a Silly Ninny Head!

     As I'm writing this, I'm listening to "Mary, Did You Know?" on repeat as I scan in the newest ultrasound pictures of our little boy.  And I'd be lying to say it doesn't make me a tad bit emotional.  I know it's not Christmas time, but the words of the song are so powerful, especially as I think about my Ronan.  In no way am I claiming that my son will be Christ... but my hopes that he will lead a Christ-like life.  He may not "give sight to a blind man" but I hope he will be able to "calm storms in people's lives" and I know that when I kiss his little face, it will be like "kissing the face of God" as we are created in His image.  I know my little Ronan will be fresh from my Father in Heaven and placed into my arms and I am so excited.  I can only imagine the joy and responsibility that Mary felt when she was told she would carry the Son of God.  What a blessing.

     I know on a very smaller scale what Mary must have felt like.  What a joy it will be to have a son, a namesake for my husband.  The responsibility of nurturing and raising a son of God, overwhelming and fulfilling, at the same time.  I can only pray that I can teach him in a way, that he will strive to like a Christ-like life. I know he will not be perfect and make mistakes, and I also know the Atonement of his Savior, has made it possible for him to be clean again through his repentance.  It is so comforting to me to have the gospel in our lives.  I hope he loves his family as much as we love him.  I hope he will be the kind of man who opens the door for all women and respects them as daughters of God.  I hope he will have a love of the scriptures and a sense of humor, just like his Daddy so that he'll be well balanced in all things.  He will one day serve a mission for our church, if he chooses to do so, and I will send my son to serve his Heavenly Father for two years, where he will share the gospel with others that might not have the opportunity otherwise.  I hope one day that he will be worthy to take a choice young woman to the temple, and be sealed for time and all eternity.  I know at the time, he will leave me and start a new family with a new woman.  And my heart will break and soar at the same time, because I love my children and I will always want them close, but I don't want to deny the same joys and happiness I have experienced.... and one day, I'll want grandchildren.  But I'm getting way ahead of myself... this little guys is still snuggly in my tummy and these things are far off, but nonetheless, thoughts in my head.

     So the reason that I'm a silly ninny head... we had our ultrasound this morning due to concerns by the OB that I was measuring almost four weeks behind.  Quick recap:  said information lead to a very worried Momma who Googled (NEVER GOOGLE) what the cause could be, and it was all terrible.  So I spent a good bit of time worrying while I waited for Monday and trying to take it easy to keep from going into labor while in Tennessee.  (More on our TN trip later) So today arrives and I'm so nervous, I have some righteous nausea... and I realize this is unwarranted because Mitch gave me a blessing and I felt comforted but I always worry that there's going to be a curveball.  I really need to stop thinking that the world's out to get me, especially my Father in Heaven, because He's definitely not out to get me, but I sometimes feel like I've met my quota for blessings and somehow it's gotta go down hill from there.  Some people might say we are already down hill... but I'm getting off topic.  But I'm still nervous as we drive up.

     We arrive at the hospital, since that's where my OB's office is located and sign in.  Bella is still completely reeling off our crazy vacation schedule, and my often somewhat calm child, is crack baby.  I'm so glad Mitch could take the day off to be there with me, just in case, plus he wants to see pictures of his son.  And he was a great help, until he had to go to the bathroom and then they called me back to the ultrasound room.  Just me and Bella.  And I don't want to lose our time, so I'm trying to calm her and she agrees to help the US tech put the jelly on my tummy.  She helped squeeze once and then decided she was too close to the action and decided to walk around the room.  Thankfully the tech waited for Mitch before she got into the nitty gritty.  And what a relief to see our son!  He was kicking and active and had his little hands covering his face just like last time.  He's head down which is awesome again because he's been there the whole time.   He's got a strong heartbeat of 138.  I was on pins and needles while she took the measurements and after an average of 4 measurements, she concluded, I'm really measuring about 33 weeks and that puts him in the 26th percentile.  Anything over 10 percent is good :)  He's aprox. 4.8 lbs which according to my Babycenter updates, he is right on target for weight.  The pictures of his face actually look like he's a little chunky.  He's pretty low in my pelvis and he liked keeping his hands by his face so the US tech buzzed him with this little buzzer.  It doesn't hurt him or me, it's just a little vibration to get him to move and we were able to get some great shots... all with his hands near his face! AND he has hair! Great news all around :) So I was just measuring smaller from how I'm carrying and I'm a petite person.

     The OB I saw today was really pleased with everything and says he's progressing just great!  My cervix hasn't thinned at all so he's going to be sitting snug for a while longer.  Of course this could all change tomorrow... most likely not, but there's always that chance.  So I've potentially got six weeks to help this little man grow and I wouldn't be surprised if he's not a 10 lber like his Daddy, although I'm praying for smaller!  It would just be ironic after all this huff and puff and worry!  I am so grateful that everything is going well.  I am grateful for all of our wonderful friends and family who have called or messaged me in some way today.  It's very comforting to have such an awesome support group.  I am so happy our family is growing and after seeing his pictures (it's ridiculous how accurate it looks)  I cannot wait to hold him.  I can't wait to be his Mommy!

     I'm getting back to the sleepy I need a nap phase of pregnancy... the uncomfortable can't sleep phase... and the I can only eat baby size portions phase.  Which is wonderful, because that means I'm that much closer to my little man.  I'm still not  over excited about the whole labor part, but feel better prepared than I did last time and I know what I'm getting out of this deal so I say bring it on.  We shall see how brave I am when it actually happens.

I'll share some of the adorableness that is my son:

This is our favorite picture of him.  I think he looks just like Mitch!

He's moving his arm in his face but he definitely has the "Cooper forehead"

I think this one looks the most like a sleeping Bella.

This is Ronan yawning

This is (from R to L) his nose with his little lips parting and the "Howe chin"

His little heartbeat... always great to hear this sound.

Look at that chunky face!

Nice profile shot with a hand on his forehead and the other covering his mouth

Look at those cheeks!

I'll update soon.  Let's be honest, I'll update when I can.  Thanks for all your support.