Where do I even begin? I don't even know, because I secretly feel we just left the hospital with you last week and since my tummy is currently occupied by your little brother, Ronan, I have to accept that time has passed and you are growing into a little girl. I say "little" only in the physical sense, because in all other realms, you are quite big. I am constantly reminding myself that you're not even 2 yet... but now you are!
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| Daddy got up extra early to get this special balloon for your special day and you loved it! |
You are so smart! And kind. I forget just how new you still are and how you are still learning. You amaze me so much in what your capable of and how much you love your family! We have daily conversations that melt my heart and make me giggle. You're my best little friend and we do everything together. And I mean everything. It's not all a bed of roses, but for the most part, we're awesome. You've been fighting nap time pretty fierce lately, but I admire your determination and perseverance... everyday we take a nap and everyday you fight me for at least an hour, and everyday I tackle you and cuddle you and scratch your back and sing you lullabies and sometimes you kick me but I still love you and then you fall asleep in my arms, but you fight each day like today is the day you will win. I admire your courage! I hope you never lose that spirit and passion. I do hope the defiance fades soon, but according to all the recent studies, terrible two's are where you're at and being defiant is healthy and good for your development. I'm not surprised because you excel at everything and you'll excel at this! You've been a perfect (almost) child up until this point so I guess a couple of gray hairs won't hurt this far in the game. Even with our small struggles, because in the grand scheme of things, this is small potatoes, no matter how frustrated we get at each other, we always find a way back to our happy place. You give the best hugs and kisses, and don't tell Daddy, but I'm pretty sure you save the best ones for me!
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| Losing the battle never looked or felt so good! |
Exactly two years ago, I was preparing to meet you! I was so excited and scared and anxious about bringing you into this world! It's quite a process to get you here and you are my first child and it was a very new experience for me. I like to know the outcomes of things and this was completely new territory for me so thats where the fear came from. I also wondered if you'd like me or if I would be a good mom, there was my anxiety. But the excitement trumped it all, I would do anything I could to meet you! I pushed for TWO HOURS to bring you into this world, I used every bit of energy I had and had to pray to Heavenly Father for physical strength because I gave everything I have and you still didn't want to come out. I'm glad it was so comforting in there. Shortly after you made your big debut and I realized my fears were for naught. When I held you in my arms for the first time, I could not recall a more perfect connection or feeling of completeness. I held you in my arms and I knew that I would do anything for you, for your happiness and safety and love. I knew I would protect you. I knew nothing else in this world mattered but my family from this point on. You changed me so completely and any doubt I had about you "liking me" went right out the window and we bonded immediately, like we'd never parted. Even though I can't completely comprehend Heavenly Father's love for me, I understood more fully holding you in my arms. You were the most beautiful baby, and are still the most beautiful girl. People are drawn to you, there's something special about you. You have a spirit like your Daddy's. Two years later, and I still can't take you out in public without someone stopping to comment how sweet you are or how cute you are! You change not only my day and life, but the lives of all those you come in contact with.
You have such a wonderful love for your Heavenly Father and for your Savior, Jesus Christ. You say the sweetest prayers, most of the time it's "Father Daddy, Amen." If I help you, you can pray for other things too and sometimes you do it on your own, it all depends on how hungry you are :) I miss the days of you saying "A-Bee" instead of "Amen" but I'm glad you have a love of prayer and know you can talk with your Heavenly Father. I think it makes Him smile that you call him "Father Daddy", we didn't teach you that so it must be something special between you two! You love to go to church. It's nothing for you to ask on a Tuesday to go to church and often throughout the week you'll ask again. You love to go to nursery and sing songs and learn about Jesus and Heavenly Father. Your favorite part is singing time and I've been told you are quite the little singer. You know all the words and hand motions to the songs. You love any song with actions to go with it. Your current favorite is "I am a Child of God" It warms my spirit so much to hear you sing it and sing with such conviction. In the verse "Lead me, Guide me, Walk beside me..." You sing, "Lead me, Hold me, I love you" and I love that version too! You don't know this, but every Sunday, I'll sneak a peak and watch you in nursery. I love to see the way you interact with others. You mostly do your own thing but love to listen to your teachers and see your friends. You also like to look at pictures of Jesus. I'm trying to teach you about taking the Sacrament. I bring a book with me that has pictures of the Savior for you to look at and try to remind you that when we take the Sacrament we should be reverent and try to think of Heavenly Father and Jesus. I whisper in your ear why we take the sacrament, as we take it, or will whisper a primary song in your ear to help you feel the spirit. I'm so proud that you only take one piece of bread and not the whole tray! A couple Sundays ago, before sacrament prayer, I let you know it was coming to that time, and you told me "Heavenly Father, Jesus, Shhhh!" So I know something I teach you is getting through. You love to "lead the music" when we sing the hymns, and although you don't know the words you flip the pages and try to sing along anyway. When I come pick you up from nursery, you ask me if I had fun in class and it makes my day. I'm always excited to hear about what you learned in class and you are just as excited to tell me, It's been two years kid, and I'm just as excited about you as the day I gave birth to you, your "new shininess" has yet to fade.
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| Right before church on Easter Sunday |
I'm your biggest fan and sometimes I ask your Daddy, if it's weird I'm so crazy about you, but we both think its normal when we have a kid as awesome as you! Our favorite thing to do, your father and I, is talk about the cute or funny things you've done that day and it makes us so happy! We also realize we are not crazy, because you have a fan club, that actually extends outside your immediate family! You have at least one baby doll, and a spotted pig toy named after you! You truly are loved and I think that makes all the difference in your countenance. You are loved and because of that, you share the love with others. Thats not to say you don't like your personal space. You are very body aware and when you don't want to be touched, you let people know. And I love that. Because your body is very special, it's a temple that houses your spirit and you should always take care of it. You are quick to let us know that its "my elbow" or "my tummy" when you don't want to be touched and we respect that. You always have that right and I'm so glad you're like that. You also push the little boys away that try to kiss you. You do allow smooches from Logan and Brendan, but I think a couple of other boys have tried to steal a few too! Two years old, and already a heartbreaker. Logan is your cousin so that doesn't count.
You have such an amazing love for your family. You ask to call them on a daily basis or sing about them in "Old McDonalds Farm." You can name all the people in your family and your favorite part of the day is when everyone comes home from work. You make sure to greet everyone at the door and I know that's their favorite part of the day too! You love to cook with Ganma or pick corn with her in the garden. You also like to taste test all the food! You love to play "Choo Choo Train" with PopPop and eat the ice from his cup. He also likes to try to get your belly, which sometimes you allow. You love to do anything with Daddy but most recently go on bike rides or run outside, you love to do anything outside! You love to dance to bluegrass with "Ricky" who is really your great grandfather that you call Ricky. You love to go to Meme's house and watch your videos and play with your doll that she bought you when you were 4 months old AND you still know which one is yours and not Lucy's. You love all your family and have special things you like to do with all of them!
You are going to be an amazing big sister in a few months! You love talking to Ronan in my belly. You've already tried to unlock him from my tummy, which was unsuccessful, but I'm sure you two will spend your lives trying to get the other in (or out) of trouble. You often like to feel my tummy and try to feed Ronan through my belly button. The belly button seems to be your connecting link as that is your go to spot. You are very excited to hold him and feed him, even if he cries, you've promised. You are such a little helper! You have an awesome sense of humor and keep Mommy and Daddy laughing on a daily basis! You have natural maternal instincts and I'm sure one day (WAY WAY in the future) you will make an excellent mother. I don't always know what I'm doing, but I promise you, sweetheart, I try. You don't seem to mind, as it seems I can do no wrong in your eyes.... with the exception of nap time. You love to clean and are an amazing helper to Mommy! I'm so grateful for you!
You are such a blessing to our lives! You have enriched not only my life, but the life of so many others! I know Heavenly Father has big plans for you :) Always remember that you are a most special daughter of God. He loves you so much! You have an elder brother, and Savior, Jesus Christ, who also loves you more than we'll ever be able to comprehend. I'm sure you already know this, little one, because you have a such a sweet spirit and such a strong testimony of the gospel. Mommy and Daddy could not be more proud of you if we tried. You have made all of our dreams come true and we promise to love you always. There is nothing you can do (I'm sure one day you might try) that will change that. Remember who you are and where you've come from. Your body is a temple and is sacred. Always take care of it and save it for a choice young man who is worthy to take you to the holiest place on this earth and be sealed to him for time and all eternity, just like Mommy and Daddy were. But I won't go into that too much, because that will make me cry! I still have you for a very long time. As much as I look forward to that day, I will never look forward to not having you by my side. You are my heart, my soul, my everything. I look forward to the adventures in store for us this year!
Love forever,
Mommy.
So so sweet!!
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